So as it is, I was in an arguement with my boyfriend and it came to the point of him harrasing me about having too many males as friends..

(Can you guess which one I am?)

[20:32] lovedistortion: I have no best female friend to tell about when I'm all dreamy.
[20:32] lovedistortion: Chris isn't gay.
[20:32] lovedistortion: I have no female friends AT ALL.
[20:32] x-AfflicTioN-x: yes you do...
[20:32] x-AfflicTioN-x: you tell me about them all the time
[20:32] lovedistortion: I'm a bitch, and I can't go shopping.
[20:32] lovedistortion: How about a sleepover? Or hanging out?
[20:32] x-AfflicTioN-x: you say you have no friends... yet you always tell me of a new one
[20:32] lovedistortion: You know, girly things.
[20:33] x-AfflicTioN-x: you did that with jill?
[20:33] lovedistortion: One night, and since then Jill has barely talked to me.
[20:33] x-AfflicTioN-x: you say that but....
[20:33] x-AfflicTioN-x: you never call them either tho
[20:33] lovedistortion: She's too busy hitting on Lucas when Lucas isn't interested.
[20:33] lovedistortion: She used me.
[20:34] lovedistortion: Because she wants him.
[20:34] x-AfflicTioN-x: and he wants you...
[20:34] lovedistortion: You'll see it at prom, and Lucas' date is going to take her head off.
[20:34] lovedistortion: Haven't you learned yet? All guys want me, but I don't want them. I want you./
[20:34] lovedistortion: Chris lied.
[20:35] x-AfflicTioN-x: yet... you get mad at me because liz supposedily wants me
[20:35] x-AfflicTioN-x: about?
[20:35] lovedistortion: Being out of love with me.
[20:35] lovedistortion: He lied even to me.
[20:35] x-AfflicTioN-x: you didnt know that.....
[20:35] lovedistortion: I believed him.
[20:35] x-AfflicTioN-x: he call you every single day.....
[20:35] lovedistortion: No, not for several months he didn't.
[20:35] lovedistortion: I thought he hated me.
[20:35] lovedistortion: If you recall.
[20:36] lovedistortion: And other than you, he's the ONLY person that calls.
[20:36] x-AfflicTioN-x: i;ve known for a while...
[20:36] lovedistortion: Well it was fucking news to me.
[20:36] x-AfflicTioN-x: cuz when ever the 3 of us are talking
[20:36] x-AfflicTioN-x: hes a dick to me
[20:36] lovedistortion: People don't fall out of love with me.
[20:37] x-AfflicTioN-x: remember when i was at his house and we have a fight?
[20:37] lovedistortion: No one in the history of men who have fallen in love with me has ever gotten over me
[20:37] lovedistortion: Not one.
[20:37] x-AfflicTioN-x: yet you say your worth nothing
[20:38] lovedistortion: Hey, it's what I'm shown.
[20:38] x-AfflicTioN-x: your so weird....
[20:38] x-AfflicTioN-x: you like dont even make since...
[20:38] lovedistortion: My dad hasn't made any effort to see me in close to 5 years.
[20:38] x-AfflicTioN-x: supposedly noone has gotten over you yet your so subconsiose
[20:39] lovedistortion: Because for every person that loves me, there's someone who hates me just as much.
[20:39] lovedistortion: They just happen to be in a different gender.
[20:39] lovedistortion: My own.
[20:39] lovedistortion: Because I CAN have the guy, or
[20:39] lovedistortion: because the guy THEY want
[20:39] lovedistortion: wants me.
[20:39] lovedistortion: I CAN'T HELP THAT.
[20:39] lovedistortion: I can't make female friends.
[20:40] lovedistortion: I saved Chelsea's ass right? She hasn't said a word to me since.
[20:40] lovedistortion: I saved a girl who I've known from wrestling for 4 years from a suspension
[20:40] x-AfflicTioN-x: have you tried to talk to her?
[20:40] lovedistortion: I didn't even get a thank you.
[20:40] lovedistortion: Because the guy she dated, was still in love with me.
[20:40] x-AfflicTioN-x: have you tried to talk to her..
[20:41] lovedistortion: You don't understand girls.
[20:41] x-AfflicTioN-x: so basicly
[20:41] lovedistortion: We don't talk, if we do. It gets worse.
[20:41] lovedistortion: I know from experience.
[20:41] x-AfflicTioN-x: you dont want to start talking to them...
[20:41] x-AfflicTioN-x: but if they dont start talking to you they hate you
[20:42] lovedistortion: The world is mean to me.
[20:42] x-AfflicTioN-x: or you just expect everthing to fall into your lap and when it doesn't you blame the world
[20:42] lovedistortion: Says one of the hurtfuls.
[20:43] lovedistortion: I expect common courtesy.
[20:43] lovedistortion: I miss having a best friend.
[20:43] lovedistortion: and I can't have one because the only ones the world allows me to have are guys
[20:43] lovedistortion: and then you wouldn't like that.
[20:43] x-AfflicTioN-x: you basing my judgement off of 2 people
[20:44] x-AfflicTioN-x: and i seem to remember one tried to kiss you
[20:44] x-AfflicTioN-x: and the other wanted to fuck you
[20:44] lovedistortion: Now you see the quality of my friends.
[20:44] x-AfflicTioN-x: if that the reason their there then their not friends
[20:44] x-AfflicTioN-x: is that why you assume liz wants to fuck me?
[20:45] lovedistortion: You see my "I have no friends" clause now.
[20:46] lovedistortion: brb puppy
[20:46] x-AfflicTioN-x: it more of when they try and push on it
[20:46] x-AfflicTioN-x: like those 2 did
[20:46] x-AfflicTioN-x: one was trying to make you think fuck buds ok so you would cheat on me
[20:46] x-AfflicTioN-x: was*
[20:50] lovedistortion: and after all that I'm still here.
[20:52] lovedistortion: Do you know why people fall in love with me?
[20:52] lovedistortion: You found a different way, in a sense.
[20:52] lovedistortion: People love me because of how I make them feel ABOUT THEMSELVES.
[20:53] lovedistortion: If they need to talk, I'm the shrink.
[20:53] lovedistortion: and I'm good at it.
[20:53] lovedistortion: I relax people and I'm really easy to trust.

I apologize to anyone who made this and think that I am conceited, but its based on experience. Not what I THINK I know. Stuck in a looping thought of depression.

---

The door scraped slightly as it opened. I noticed that. I could hear, and in my heart I heard a scraping, the scraping of something coming apart. And so began our last walk together.